The #metoo and #timesup Movements Have Come to the Nerd Community

*Please note that although we are an all-ages blog, this post will be dealing with some sensitive subject matter that is not kid-appropriate.  However, we felt that this movement and the positive changes it is bringing about were too important to ignore here.  

I have been watching and waiting for the day to come when we would get our first news that a member of the nerd/geek community was guilty of sexual harassment, assault or worse.  Well, that day has arrived.  In a single afternoon, not one, but two cosplayers of some recognition were exposed for their rapes, assaults and other lesser, but still painful, crimes against women.  A week later, another cosplayer was exposed for his public harassment and assault of his fellow cosplayers, including men this time.  What a sad week in our community.

The news spread like wildfire in the community as cosplayers and con-goers alike warned each other to stay away from these men.  Statements of support were given all around.

However, there were rape apologists for both men that did not surprise me, but still sickened me.  Lame non-apology apologies were given from both men.  Whatever.  It has gotten to the point that I don’t even hear that anymore.  You raped.  You assaulted.  You are done.

We have arrived at such an important moment in time for all people, not just women, but for us all.  Decent men are no longer lumped in with those who rape and assault.  Women are believed.  Victims, no matter their gender identity, are provided support and guidance.  We are protecting each other.  This particular part of this very ugly chapter in our lives is a beautiful stand-out.  It is great to see.

What I am so very curious about is what is going to happen at WonderCon next month?  Will these people show?  If so, how is that going to go, I wonder?

Here’s what I do know.  Please allow me a rant.  We are done.  There will not be any more groping and cosplayers nervously dismissing it because we, “Don’t want to make a scene”.  There will not be any more going to security only to have your concerns blown-off.  Our voices will be heard.  They are quite loud and united now.  So, if you are a creeper that likes to insult and grope cosplayers or con-goers, your little reign of terror is at an end.  We are done.  Your actions will have consequences.  Our voices will be so loud that con management and security cannot ignore us.  You are on notice.  You will have to take your troll selves back to your mother’s basement and stick to exclusive online trolling, until we figure out a way to stop you anyway.  Rant over.

OK, so now as a parent what the heck do you do with all this information?  This is some real grown-up awkward as heck stuff!  However, it is stuff that is all over the news now, so your kids have heard something about it.  They most likely have questions.  I had to impose my parental veto rights and have the kiddo unfollow and block all the creeper cosplayers mentioned earlier on her Insta feed.  She asked why, which is a valid question.  Well, she is 11, so I told her the basics.  I told her that these men touched people where they should not without consent from the other person.  Then I reiterated that these areas should not ever be touched on her or any of her friends even with their consent.  I explained to her the concept of consent and how we, and we alone, are in charge of our bodies.  Nobody should ever touch you without your permission.  I also had to go into the discussion of how some people incorrectly feel that they have permission based on the type of cosplay (skimpy or racy) that the cosplayer is wearing.  It is so sad that I had to say any of this, but as is part of your parenting responsibility.  You have to have the awkward and unpleasant discussions with your kids.  At least before someone else gives them a whole lot of inaccurate information.

This is all just my take on things to be sure.  I would never ever tell you how to raise your kid, how to parent them on these issues or anything else.  This is just what worked for me and my kid in my home.  If you have some good tips on how to handle these very adult matters with your kids, I welcome your comments.

Until next time…. #metoo #timesup and I Believe You!

Love, Kim and Scout

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